What to Do After Saying “I Do”

By Umm Junayd

   

It’s important for newly wed couples to build their lives on mutual communication and sharing thoughts.   If you are a new bride or going to wed anytime soon, this is a special serving of down-to-earth advice for you. Be His Friend Marriage is not a slave and master relationship; it’s one with two team players who are able to get through just about anything together. The relationship between you and your husband should transcend the boundaries of spouses and extend to the level of friendship. You should be able to open up fully to one another, laugh together, cry together, and have a whole heap of fun. Keep That Look! On your wedding day (and night) and during your “honeymoon period” your husband is dazzled by your beauty and grace, but these are not the only times to keep yourself looking pristinely gorgeous. It is all too common that after a couple of months into a marriage, women begin to forget how to groom themselves, wear nice clothes, and smell like a thousand roses. Worse still, when children enter the scene, all the make-up, perfumes, and dresses are replaced with nappy wipes, baby oil, and tracksuits. Stop! Don’t fall victim to the “I’m a mother and haven’t got time” excuse. Keep that make-up, perfume, and dress well within hand’s reach because you can still look spectacular, no matter how long you have been married. Whether you are a slender or a voluptuous woman, try to look graceful and beautiful, simply because you are. Compromise and Celebrate There’s no doubt that there will always be times when either of you simply have to be stubborn to get your way, but don’t let it be you. While stubbornness canvsometimes work in your favor, it can also crush a beautiful bond; strive to meet in the middle and learn to bite your tongue, swallow your pride, and compromise. It really can ease a sticky situation, and could be a cause to celebrate. Open the Door of Understanding The door of understanding may sometimes be difficult to unlock, but you hold aspecial key: that of communication. Keeping things bottled up never does any good, and you may end up feeling like a Cola bottle that keeps getting shaken… what ends up happening? A volcanic explosion! Speaking to your husband in a mature and measured way about issues that are bothering you, not only relieve tensions, but also avert the explosion situation where “everything comes out”. Know Him Better Than His Mother Get to know your husband inside out, and it will be a breeze when it comes to working out what he likes and dislikes. Not only will it strengthen your bond, but he will also feel secure knowing that his beloved wife is someone who understands him and recognizes his needs. It will also play in your favor when trying to determine when it’s best to sweet talk him. Forget the World During the hustle and bustle of life, work and family, there’s often little room for”us-time”. Something as simple as strolls in the park, a day trip to the zoo, or a weekend at the beach can be fantastic and you get to know one another better. So forget the world and bask in one another’s company. Have Time for You While tending to your new family may be incredibly rewarding, it can also take its toll on you, and cause you to forget about yourself. Vow to yourself, that each and every day you will take a step — whether large or small — devoted to developing as a person. Whether it involves working on your memorization of the Quran, reading a book, or pampering yourself, even getting your hair done can be intensively gratifying. Be a True Team in Strengthening Your Religion Acts of worship done with your husband can be so fulfilling. Something as simple as praying obligatory prayers together if he can’t make it to the mosque, increases your bond of union and can be truly spiritually rewarding. Studying or seeking knowledge alone can be isolating, but having a husband who can teach you and also be taught is a blessing and not only draws you closer spiritually, but also allows you to grow in faith together. Focusing on the negative aspects of a marriage is all too easy, but loving, understanding, communicating, and compromising can bring endless bliss to any husband-wife relationship. Abandon the downbeat facets, and enjoy your union.

Advertisement