Witty Quotes

You have two choices in life: You can stay single
and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
“Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
“Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
“Husband Wanted”.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
“You can have mine.”

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
              
A little boy asked his father,
“Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

A young son asked
“Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?”
Dad replied, “That happens in every country, son.”

Then there was a woman who said,
“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.”

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.

Just think if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.

First guy says, “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy remarks, “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

“A Woman’s Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man,
to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength
I’ll just beat him to death “

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3 Responses to “Witty Quotes”

  1. Ha ha I’m really loving this site it’s great

  2. Fatimah Says:

    And that’s why I’m divorced and loving it!

  3. gorgeousgal (nickname of course lol) Says:

    haaaaaaaaaaaa very funny

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