The Wife Is A Delicate Crystal
The Delicate Care Of A Precious WifeAnas Narrated, “The Messenger Of Allah was once traveling and a black boy called Anjashah was chanting for camels. The Messenger of Allah said, “O Anjashah, slowly, drive the camels slowly, as they are carrying Qawaareer (crystal).” (saheeh of muslim)
Crystal has exquisite beauty that glimmers in the light with each crystal having a unique design and pattern. Precision and care are taken with each small feature of fine crystal – down to the etching and intricate detail within it’s appearance. It is also fragile and delicate requiring utmost care, lest it should slip and break with its beauty and substance lost and gone. It is also valuable and makes for a precious gift, being admired, adorned, kept safe and gently handled.
Prophet Muhammad metaphorically used the term crystal to describe the believing women, asking Anjashah to drive the camels slowly for the camels were carrying these delicate precious women who could easily get hurt and injured. Our Prophet used this term to highlight their quality, characteristics and importance, as he gave them due consideration through an expression of kindness and love.Men are Qawwaamoon over women (Qur’aan 4:34)
Allah described the men as Qawwaamoon over their women, with the word Qawwaamoon highlighting how the Husband stands responsible over his Wife, offering her protection and maintenance whilst fulfilling her needs and upholding her care. This point is well known to the Muslims and has been rightfully emphasized repeatedly throughout the period of Islam. The husband is the one who guards, protects, maintains and cares for his wife. Yet something must accompany this reality, and that is the nature and essence of the wife who is delicate and precious and a companion requiring the utmost care and love. Yes the husband is from amongst the Qawwaamoon just like the wife is from amongst the Qawaareer. One for the other, with the qualities of the husband complimenting the qualities of the wife, as they combine and unite as one.
Allah gave everything its due share and gifted each object in creation with its unique gift as a bestowal and favour from Him. He gave men physical strength just like He gave women their gift of sensitivity and softness. The Prophet would teach the people about these differences, instructing the Husband and Wife to interact with each other accordingly. It is not befitting that the woman opposes her Husband in goodness and undermines his position of responsibility, just like it is not befitting for the Husband to neglect his Wife or handle her with inpatience and harshness. The wife is for the Husband and the Husband is for the wife, serving each other in unison as they live their lives worshipping Allah , helping each other along the way.
When we return to the Sunna of our Prophet and study his statements carefully we begin to understand the proper essence of things, for he would choose the most appropriate words for describing that which he would describe. Of all the things that break he could have chosen anything but he chose to describe the believing women as Qawaareer, highlighted many qualities including their being delicate, fragile, beautiful and precious.
The Delicate Gift of A Wife
Abu Hurairah narrated that Allah’s Messenger said, ‘ A Woman is like a rib. When you attempt to straighten it, you would break it. And if you leave her alone you would benefit by her, and crookedness will remain in her.’ (saheeh of muslim)
The delicate nature of the wife has been reinforced by the above Hadeeth for the crooked rib can easily snap and break, just like a delicate piece of crystal can shattter and break. It is part of the responsibility of the husband to handle his wife with the utmost care and gentleness, steering clear of carelessness, crude behaviour, harshness and recklessness. If he behaves as such, he has abused his role of being amongst the Qawwaamoon and neglected the care of the Qawaareer.
The Beautiful Gift of A Wife
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet asked a man who had married a woman, ‘have you looked at her?’ He said, no.’ The Prophet said, ‘Go and look at her.’ (saheeh of muslim)
The beauty of the wife is an important aspect which attracts the husband when he meets her, sees her and marrys her. Our Prophet taught his Ummah to pay attention to beauty in the sense that the man and woman should be physically attracted to one another. We must understand the interpretation of beauty is individual to each person. The man and woman should marry for the sake of religion, but they should also be atracted to one another, and this is why our Prophet gave the command to look.
The Precious Gift of A Wife
Abdullah bin Amr narrated that the Prophet said, ‘The whole world is a provision, and the best provision of the world is the pious woman.’ (saheeh of muslim3465)
The precious companionship of a righteous wife is a gift like no other. When the wife strives in righteousness, Allah raises her status and rank. She becomes filled with goodness and a means for goodness for her husband. So her husband, upon recognizing this, should pay attention to what he has been given. He should be careful in how he treats her and views her, for she is worthy, precious and an invaluable companion like no other.
Blessed is He Who sent His slave Muhammad to convey His message and restore the Mezaan on Earth, with everything in the universe being intricately balanced as one part of creation assists, effects, and compliments another. Similar is the case with a believing husband and a believing wife, who compliment each other as they unite together as one. We should be careful in how we treat each other and how we view each other for the husband-wife relationship is an imporant part of Islam. We should acquire our understanding through the Qur’aan and Sunna, staying away from cultural influences ad practices which have made their way into the various Muslim lands. It is true that women have caused great fitnah, including the fitan caused by the unrighteous wife, but the problem is not confined to women. Some cultures advocate harshness on the part of the men, while other cultures pay little attention to the feelings of a woman when her heart can be easily broken and shattered. Many Muslim men have married righteous believing women yet they nelgect them and do not realise their worth. Yet this is the delicate gift of a precious wife we are talking about. If we truly claim to be servants of Allah and followers of Muhammad then let us follow the verses of the Qur’aan and understand the Sunna. Next time we study the verse of Qawwaamoon, let us also reflect on the Hadeeth of Qawaareer.
Men are Qawwaamoon over women (Qur’aan 4:34)
Anas Narrated, ‘The Messenger of Allah said, O Anjashah, slowly, drive the camels slowly, as they are carrying Qawaareer (crystal).’ (saheeh of muslim)
Written by Kamillah Khan